After waiting for 3 months, finally I got an email from the sending coordinator. When I saw the subject was "Hasil Seleksi Nasional" my heart beat so fast and I couldn't control it like seriously. I was shaking and I didn't exaggerate it and also I already had a feeling that there's no way I could pass this selection. See, what I thought was true and I told my mom immediately via SMS (u know I do niot live with my parents).
After my mom received the message, she called me. So did my dad. They gave me some words to calm and support me, I cried of course. I failed.
*you can read my previous post about this selection here*
She said I was being all great because I coud make it until become the finalist and perhaps this one isn't my way, there are still so many ways to get that and she said I don't have to think about that anymore, all I have to do now is focus on my study to get the best in the future.
My cousin that I live with, was trying to cheer me up, give those kind of words as well, and asked me to go out and eat ice cream so I wouldn't sad anymore haha.
I regret and cry after this thing for about two/three days omg I was shameless. I just couldn't think properly.
But at last, I cogitate deeply ((do I sound exaggerated?)) what they said were true. Perhaps I couldn't make my dream (which is about study abroad) happen this time. I have to try again, learn, pray, prepare myself more to be the best in the future. This failure should give me a bunch of spirits and believe that Allah has more beautiful plan.
Study abroad is still on my bucket list.
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Sekarang hanya tinggal kenangan #lebaysih #bodoamat
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