(jangan) berhenti

Menyala nyala terbakar api kehidupan

terus berjalan karena tak satu pun dapat menghentikan

tapi kamu lupa kalau jalannya tak serata itu

kemudian kamu tersandung dan tidak tau caranya bangkit karena terlalu sakit

hingga akhirnya terus menekuk lutut

dan sampai lupa kalau jalan di depan sudah dekat

tapi api terlanjur padam.

Nightmare

I greedily gulped a glass of water that I put it on the table next to my bed. The nightmare that had just happened was really draining my energy and making me run out of oxygen.
I never had a nightmare in the daylight like this before. I left the room and I saw my mom was groping for her veil. And on the doorstep, I saw a friend of my brother slumped helplessly. His body was full of sand.

Once she found her veil, she immediately went out and my brother’s friend followed her.

“Where are you going?” I asked her.

“Your brother,” she replied. And I didn’t get it.

“What?”

“Just wait at home and let’s talk later.”

God. Don’t let it happen.

I waited at home anxiously. I kept praying and hoping that bad thing would not happen. It was almost one hour until I heard my phone rang,. An incoming from my mom and I immediately pressed the answer button.

“He’s gone.”

God. That nightmare just happened.

Obsession

It has been a year since I knew him.

Today is exactly a year since I wrote a date  where the first time he called my name, in my notebook. Yeah, I did write that stupid thing. People might think I’m such a wacky but I can’t deny that fact.
He’s my obsession. And that statement sounds so creepy.

That straight-haired boy never fails to lift my mood up.

No. We never  get involved into something significant or even make an eye contact. We do not talk. We’re actually just like strangers. I can count how many times he called my name.

It has been my biggest question why I’m still  stuck like a fool here to watch him from afar. I know I should stop being his admirer because I literally know that I will never can reach him. But I just can’t do that.

Because of him, I always curse myself for being like a coward whenever I see him around. Even I feel ashamed to a Mimosa pudica that only closes its leaves when something touches itself.

Today, that flawless human being, did something that I wasn’t able to imagine before. And  for the second time I write the same date but with different year in my notebook.

A trivial thing yet so special

For God’s sake,

He smiled.

Mate

I had posted it on my instagram but I've deleted it just because I dont feel comfortable posting it on instagram. So here it is my so-called flash fiction!

*

10 minutes have passed.

Neither of us starts the conversation, we’re just looking each other. But it looks very clear on his face that he’s very happy and I can guess why.

“I’m accepted.” That’s the first sentence.

“I know. Congratulation.” I smile awkwardly

I don’t know how I feel now. But guess what? Instead of feeling hurt, I feel empty. Now I even doubt my feeling, whether I love him or not.
Or is this a feeling what people said that you will be happy for the one you love no matter what happens. I know it sounds very cheesy.

Then he takes my hands which I put them on the table that separates us.

“It’s also because of you. Thanks, mate!”

Mate, he said.

Mimpi

Aku ingin berada dan tersesat di belantara mimpi
dan memohon padaMu agar Engkau turunkan malaikat-malaikat,
kemudian membantuku jika aku sudah meringkuk terbuai dalam pelukan akar mimpi-mimpi,
lupa jalan kembali
akankah Kau turunkan?
agar menuntunku ke arah yang kulihat adanya seberkas cahaya di ujung sana
Keluar dengan tangan menggenggam angan-angan
atau terbang ke atas tanpa merangkul kesia-siaan